I Ask Without Judgement

I ask without judgement, without anger and with gentleness and kindness, "Who told you to tell me your cats name was Mouse?"

I asked this March 18, 2012. I asked and yet again my heart was torn for the truth was not told.

I am sitting as I look and reread the conversation.  I take myself to the place of make believe.  I am resting in a field full of flowers under one of my pink willow trees.  The breeze is gently flowing as I see the swaying of the willow back and forth.

As I watch the swaying I picture a day from long ago, mesmerized by the silent beats of the sawing taking me back.  I am standing on the outside looking in.  Like a time portal, I can go backwards and see clearly, I can feel what I felt back then and at the same time I can feel what I feel today as I watch and listen.

I feel my heart being ripped to shreds, I am certain, there is no doubt.  Either he was there that day or someone told him.  I came forth and yet again I am lied to.

I stand up and get under my tree with the pink branches swaying as I twirl with my arms open wide and palms toward the sky. As I twirl I am transported to the sea, for this is my world, the land of make believe.

I jump into the ocean like if my world depended on it.  Once again I swim in the sea alone yet not alone.