Joy In The Moment

Last night I found words which had been written a little while ago and those words brought me much joy. I am grateful for the joy.
I trolled old sanctuaries in the land of make believe and found my sanctuaries which had once been invaded at one point are now forgotten. I like forgotten.  I smiled, my spirit danced and a sigh of relief escaped my lips as my soul felt the safety of my sanctuary once again embrace me.
I knew they would either be there for the long run or get bored and disappear in the fragments of time.
What a beautiful place in this sanctuary of make believe. 
My spirit danced under moonlight as my wings are healing and my heart is preparing for flight.  Once again I will be flying as I lift my eyes to light that is always there, that light that's there, even in the night.

Things Are Never What They Seem

Things are never what they seem.  Not by my doing. 

In the land of make believe things are so simple.  In this place I am truly free, a place where no one is watching. To me watching is a form of harrassing me.  I verified once again unwanted eyes are on me.

The man like me, last night in my dream, asked me if I needed help.  Help me I said.  Hold on, I am on  my way. 

Black, his eyes were black and I smiled, for I knew it was just a dream and his words were empty.  For his words have been empty before, I knew he was not on his way.  For in this place of make believe it is easy to see when words are spoken with the emptyness of the souls from the mouths they leave.

There Are No Sacred Spaces Available

There are no sacred spaces available.  I accepted, finally.  How long have I known?  Well, it does not matter.  Is acceptance the answer? 

Do not be confused, acceptance does not mean compliance.  Noncompliance does not mean in search of revenge.  For I turn my thoughts to this place of nothing is real, there is no need for searching. 

What come will come to those who have what it is to come.  They will not be able to run from it, hide from it, for the laws in the land of nothing is real have been written long ago.

Right before my eyes the chapters  which have been written are changing, reforming, and energizing in the mist of the ever changing landscape.  Most important they are changing once again to follow the laws of the make believe.

The changes are held within, in the only sacred place left.  In my soul, spirit, and heart.  Those changes will be kept hidden for the world to never see. 

"Let her down easy". As their laughter echoed through the rifts in the echoes of time.  As winged friends remind me and take a fragment of me and take a part of me to the moment of when those words were spoken.  Once again I relive the daggers of what had been forgotten for just a moment in time.

Fragments I say, in this make believe, travel once again back in time, and then gather all of thyself and leave no fragment of mine behind.

Have you not heard?  This is my world and in my world I write the words which are written in the world of make believe.

The Quiet Is Calling Me Again

The quiet is calling me again.  How long will I be able to resist this time?  Will I be able to resist?

The quietness and stillness can be so intoxicating.  I feel more alone in a crowd at times, then when I am alone looking at the moon from my bedroom window.  There is no longer any need to not feel alone in a crowd.  I am rather enjoying it.  The movement in a crowd going unnoticed is rather a gift at times. I realized how untiring it can be to be alone in a crowd.  Some would dare say, "How sad is that?".

I find no sadness in this, I find joy.  I am grateful for the joy that I find. Amen

Our Days Are Numbered

Our days are numbered. For all of us.  It does not mean doom is near.  It is the rhythm of life and it has been through the ages, and will continue long after we are gone.

In the fields of make believe I saw butterflies fluttering from flower to flower.  In their fluttering I realized my heart is no longer searching. The time has passed.  I laid down in the fields of strawberries, flowers, and butterflies; felt the warm sun on my face looking up to the light, white clouds passing me by.  I smiled, for I knew from the beginning and on their process they did not realize the Lord turns wrong intentions toward someone into something beautiful.  I give thanks for the beautiful, Lord.  I am grateful.

A Face In My Dream

A face in my dream.  A mark on the face.  Such sadness in those eyes. A sadness with a smile. 

Until one accepts the sadness that is around; then and only then can true steps be taken to make changes which in turn will bring happiness.

The mark was sometimes there, sometimes not. Was the face one or was the face two?
Either way the steps are the same.

I saw my eyes this morning staring back at me from the mirror.  I saw a light which I have not seen since I was a child. 

Hello my inner child, I thought.  I have missed you, I said to myself.

Back to last night in my dreams, I also saw someone else, I'm in the fields again in the land of make believe.  All of a sudden, I saw someone walking towards me.  My heart filled with such an incredible joy, for I knew not if this was my soulmate; and realized it did not matter if he was or was not.  Because when our eyes met I immediately knew, he enjoys seeing colors and I finally learned seeing colors around me is not something to be afraid of.  Most important, he is just like me. Lord, thank you, I see him, he is out there looking for me.  He is someone like me.  I am here Mr. Like Me, from the place of make believe.

I prayed the other day thinking that I knew what I need.  I am grateful because Lord you give me visions of not what I think I need, but of what your wisdom really knows I need.

He is like me. There is someone out there, just like me in this land where nothing is real.

It is all about the dreams and the stories of make believe.  Where I finally found someone like me.  Apparently this is what I need.

Moon Will You Come Out Tonight?

I am waiting for the moon to come out tonight. 

I no longer can wait.  I have waited so long for this or that.

I sit here under the moon praying here tonight.

Lord, is there soulmates?  Is there such a thing? I wish I could believe.  I was told once by a friend, a friend with wings who was around to comfort me.  "In Christ all is possible, I just have to believe."

So I sit here under the moon praying and for the first time in my life; I choose to say in soulmates I believe.  Why not?  I have struggled with that concept all my life.  I realize it is either yes I believe or no I do not believe. Not complicated at all it is as simple as can be.

I have seen troubles but I have also seen so much wonder, beauty, kindness, gentleness and love.  So why not? 

So I sit here under the moon and I pray,

Soulmate wherever you are, whomever you should be, please catch up to me. 

Please catch up to me, if and only if.
I gently ask, I beg you, I implore you and ask you please,  if you want, if you need, if you would please hurry catch up to me.

Do I want, do I need, would I be pleased if you caught up with me?

Dear Soulmate,  I want, I need, I ask you please catch up with me. 

I miss the sunsets we never got to see together.  I miss the oceans we never got to sail on together.  I miss your hand that never held mine.  I long for your warm embrace that I have never felt.  I wonder how it would ever feel for once to you there and catch me if I fall? I hurt at the thought of knowing I was not there for you when you needed me.  My heart cries to know you have been out there wandering all alone, out there by yourself, without me.

I listen to wind as the breeze passes by, my spirit listens and wonders my dear soulmate are you calling for me?

Dear  Soulmate, I miss you, please find me.

I wonder

I wonder how many story lines, one can come up with in a day? I pray tonight under the moon in this field of nothing is real and I find myself quite content.  Just when you think your destiny has passed you by; all of a sudden you find yourself catching up to it.  Can one really catch up to their destiny if it has passed them by?

Is there such thing as destiny?

Well these are my fields, and I am now the one writing these fairy tales of make believe.

In these world of make believe I and I alone get to choose the words.  Are these words chosen carefully or are they thrown about casually?
Either way does it matter?

Can someone find meaning in this nonsense when in reality their is no meaning at all?

I wonder.

I Say

I say I am writing fiction and yet you get hurt by what the words that I write.  I like words and putting them together.  Sometimes I let their sounds and rhythm guide me and show me what word goes next.  The nonsense that comes out at time even surprises me.

I get sad when I say fiction and well, I write fiction all the time.  I like to let my words take me to places of make believe at times.  They are not directed at anyone and not hinting at anything. Why do you insist in trying to find truths in words which are written with the intention of make believe?

My heart can no longer take the pain of you trying to make truths out of make believes. 

I can not be free if I can not write what my imagination comes up with.How I long for and wish to be free.  Free to write about the lands, characters, hopes, and dreams of the fields where nothing is real.

Last night I asked the moon, "Moon, will this be the year that my imagination will finally be able to be free?"

Dear moon, why do you stay silent when I need you the most?

Why do I insist on others opinion when I know their answers are never geared towards what benefits me?

What a selfish response that has come from me. I have decided this year will be the year about me. 

Oh my goodness! It warms my heart to feel you. Dear Moon, I see you once again; smiling as you look down at me and most important, let's not forget we are in a place of make believe.